Exercise For a Fat Butt and a Skinny Butt

by Tom Antion

I live a sedentary lifestyle. My Internet business keeps me at the computer all day. I’m to the point where I don’t have to be at the computer all day long, but I really love creating things that never existed before and the thrill of the Kachings (online sales) that have been coming in to my email inbox for about 18 years now.

When Rubix my personal protection dog came along I was well warned that I would have to exercise him. I thought this was a good excuse for me to get some more exercise too. So, I dug out my cool recumbent bike. I love it because you sit back like “Easy Rider” and the seat is really thick and wide (no testicular cancer for me from sitting on little skinny seats that would undoubtedly disappear if I sat on them anyway).

Then I started researching bicycling with your dog. There are lots of systems out there to tie your dog “supposedly” safely to your bike. Of course, I ended up with the most expensive one and you’ll see it in the video. It’s called the “Running Dog Bike Tow Leash”. Whatever you do, don’t do what this lady in my neighborhood does. She rides her bike, while talking on her cell phone and holding a regular leash on her Siberian Husky.  . . . She’s an accident waiting to happen.

As I was researching I was starting to wonder how far a dog can run next to a bicycle and how fast can a dog run for multiple miles. My dog was getting in better shape from our ball playing, but that was sprint type training. This was going to be slower endurance training over several miles. I figured I would just give it a try and see which one of us pooped out first.

I packed a water bottle for both of us and I tied Rubix to the Running Dog gizmo. I commanded him to “heel” and took off at about 5 mph. No problem. I increased to about 7 mph and held it there while Rubix trotted right along next to me. I made some easy turns in the cul de sac both left and right to see how he would handle things. … Only minor awkwardness, but in no time he was an old pro at running next to my bike.

We went outbound about a mile and 3/4 and did 3 and 1/2 miles total on his first try with no problem.

Ooops. I kinda lied about the “No Problem” part.

At about 2 miles the bike felt like someone secretly riding on the back just threw out an anchor. I looked around and there was poor Rubix squatting down trying to take a “poop on the move” while still tied to the “Pooping Dog, ummmm I mean “Running Dog Bike Leash”. It was actually pretty funny looking and I wanted to take a picture, but I was afraid the bike and I would fall over in the poop so you just have to take my word for it.

So, I parked while he finished, gave him a “Good Boy” and a drink of water and off we went home.

It was too easy.

3 and 1/2 miles even in my out of shape condition and weight was far too easy. The only workout I got was laughing at Rubix pooping. Also, in the beginning before Rubix got tired when he forges ahead it actually pulls the bike along making it even easier for me to pedal.

Now I had a new problem. If I was going to bother to get the bike out, hook up the Running Dog leash, get Rubix out and pack up some water and treats, I was going to have to get some payback in the form of a workout too. After all, it’s all about me right? hahaha

I thought, “How am I going to take Rubix for 10, 20 or 30 miles so I can get a workout and he can too. Those distances are far too long for him to go especially on pavement. That’s when I came up with the Baby Trailer idea. I looked on craigslist and found a suitable one I could adapt and now I have the contraption you see in the video that’s quite a head turner.

I’ll never forget the time this sweet looking lady was walking her little foo foo dog down the road and she saw me chugging along coming towards her at 5 mph towing a baby trailer. She was all smiles and I’m sure she was thinking, “What a nice daddy talking his babies out in their trailer for a nice bike ride.” hahahaha Boy was she in for a surprise!. As I drew closer her smile was getting bigger ….. just until the point where she could see in the baby trailer a 75 pound fierce looking German Shepherd Dog hahahaha. I’ll never forget the look of horror on her face. It was priceless.


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